The costs and benefits of an empty nest: A longitudinal study of couples' relationship functioning when children leave the home

When raising their children, couples often focus more time and energy on parenting and less time nurturing their relationship with each other. For this reason, the eventual departure of children from the family home, known as the transition into an empty nest, can be difficult for couples as they learn how to step back from roles as parental caregivers and adapt to daily life as "just" relationship partners. Indeed, the divorce rate among couples who have recently transitioned into an empty nest may be higher today than ever. Moreover, even couples who remain together after their children's departure from the home frequently recall this transition as a challenging time that strained their emotional connection with one another. Because couples' relationship quality during mid-life can have lasting effects on their happiness, health, and well-being in later life, a better understanding of couples' ability to maintain a strong and healthy relationship during this normative transition is needed. This project investigates how and why couples’ relationship appraisals and day-to-day interactions change across the empty nest transition period through a longitudinal, multi-method study examining couples whose last or only child is departing the home (i.e., couples completing their transition into an empty nest) and couples whose first child is departing the home (i.e., couples just beginning the launching phase). Couples will be assessed via questionnaires and daily surveys administered both before and after their children leave the family home, for a total of five waves of data collection over a three-year period. Building on the idea that relational transitions are pivotal periods that can instigate either relationship growth or decay, this project offers new perspectives on which couples may thrive and which couples may struggle during the empty nest transition. It is proposed that although the transition into an empty nest should provide couples with more opportunities to engage in shared activities and rekindle their relationship, this period may also be characterized by sudden increases in feelings of uncertainty and ambivalence that can hinder positive interactions and increase daily conflict between partners. The extent to which couples experience the benefits versus the costs of this transition may depend on several individual, relational, and contextual factors, such as parents' experience of role loss or identity disruption during this time, the nature of the parent-child relationship, the cultural values held within the family, and the stressful life circumstances (e.g., financial hardships, caring for elderly parents) couples are facing at the time. By identifying the conditions that foster a more successful rather than strained transition, this work not only enhances understanding of why transitional periods may be challenging for couples, but also can shed light on improving adults' quality of life as they grow older. This award reflects NSF's statutory mission and has been deemed worthy of support through evaluation using the Foundation's intellectual merit and broader impacts review criteria.